The Jewish Funeral Tradition
Taharah – The deceased is
washed thoroughly by members of the sacred burial society (Chevra Kadisha),
which will prepare the body for burial. Men prepare men and women prepare
women. They wash the body with warm water from head to foot and, although they may
turn the body as necessary to clean it entirely, including all orifices, they
never place it face down. Prayers and psalms are recited during the washing.
Tachrichim - The deceased is buried wearing a simple white
shroud to avoid distinguishing between rich and poor. Men are buried with their prayer shawls (tallism),
which are rendered unusable by cutting off one of the fringes.
Oron - Tradition calls
for the casket to be simple; to be made of wood with no nails or other metal
parts; and to have several holes in the bottom to allow the body’s natural
return to dust.
Shemira - As a sign of
respect, the body is guarded or watched from the moment of death until after
burial. A family member, a Chevra
Kadisha member, or a Shomer arranged by the funeral home recites psalms
(Tehillim) while watching over the deceased.
K’reeah - The rending of
the mourners’ outer garments, a symbol of their anguish and grief. The Rabbinic Assembly Law Committee decided
that a black ribbon can become part of the garment and is torn if the family
does not wish to tear their own clothing.
The Funeral
The
funeral service serves as the foundation on which the process of mourning is
built. Recognizing the importance of the
mourners to be surrounded by family and friends, Jewish tradition deems
attending both the funeral and burial services to be a mitzvah, a religious
obligation.
At the Cemetery
We
accompany the deceased to their final resting place. The Tradition is that the Kaddish prayer is
not recited until after the casket has been lowered, and the grave filled. Dating back to Biblical times, the preference
for Jewish people had been earth burial, and that custom remains strong today.
There
are several customs regarding the number of pauses made in order to indicate
our unwillingness to end the service.
One custom establishes seven stops, another three stops, and another
maintains that the procession should stop every six or eight feet. Seven pauses are customary in most
communities.
When
the funeral service has ended, the mourners come forward to fill the
grave. Symbolically, this gives the
mourners closure as the observe, or participate in, the filling of the grave
site. One custom is for all people
present at the funeral to take a spade or shovel, held pointing down instead of
up, to show the antithesis of death to life and that this use of the shovel is
different from all other uses, to throw three shovelfuls of dirt into the
grave. When someone is finished, they put the shovel
back in the ground, rather than handing it to the next person, to avoid passing
along their grief to other mourners.
This literal participation in the burial is considered a particularly
good mitzvah because it is one for which the beneficiary -- the deceased -- can
offer no repayment or gratitude and thus it is a pure gesture.
Shiva and Mourning
Shiva - The First
Period of Mourning, Shiva means seven and is the period of mourning immediately
following the burial. Tradition is that
the day of burial counts as the first day of Shiva, which continues for seven
days.
Shloshim - The Second
Period of Mourning, Shloshim which means thirty in Hebrew, is the thirty days
following the burial, with the day of the burial counting as the first
day. Usually then, Shiva is the first
seven days of Shloshim. As with Shiva,
some festivals affect the Shloshim period, and your Rabbi will advise you how a
festival impacts on a particular situation.
At the conclusion of Shiva, Shloshim serves as a period of re-entry into
the world of the living for the mourner.
Yahrzeit - The annual
anniversary of the death of a person is called the Yahrzeit and is
traditionally observed based on the Hebrew calendar. The Yahrzeit is observed by lighting a
twenty-four hour candle the evening before the day of the Yahrzeit, and most
people recite the Kaddish and take a few moments of introspection and
thought. Most congregations the name of
the deceased whose Yahrzeit is being observed during the Shabbat services
closest to the date.
The Unveiling of
the Monument -
Since the book of Genesis in which Jacob erected a tombstone over the grave of
his wife Rachel, placing a monument over the grave of the deceased has become a
long standing Jewish tradition. Since
Biblical times this ancient practice has been used and continues to be used to
honor those who have died and have been buried.
The purpose of the tombstone is twofold; it not only allows the family
members and friends to visit the specific burial site but to honor the deceased
as well.
