Four years ago in a Thoughtful Thursday blog about funerals I wrote the following:

“Good funerals reveal the heart of a person’s legacy. Whether choosing the readings, selecting songs, writing the obituary or the eulogy, these outward actions, reveal the inner meaning of a person’s life. A person’s legacy is how we will remember them, the specific things we recall they said or did or how relationship with them felt. Your legacy carries your inner most truth and the outward actions that made a difference to others. Legacies are passed from one generation to the next, or person-to-person, and carry precious ideas, deep love, enriching stories that guide and give hope and courage. We are creating our legacy every moment of every day. Like grain that is sown, remains in the earth a while, sprouts and yields its gift in due time, so too with each of us.” (Pam Reidy, February 18, 2021)

As Miles embarks on adding legacy planning to its offerings, I reiterate the value of legacy as a means of celebrating those we love. Funerals are one means, but for some people they are not the most meaningful way to celebrate a life. The annual road race in tribute to a life well-lived, a bench on the rail trail, or a well-scripted legacy letter can be more memorable and healing than a funeral. Funerals, memorials, and life celebrations are important because they acknowledge our loss and begin the grieving process. Legacies help us experience the memories and continue the love, reflecting what we hold of our deceased loved ones in our hearts forever. A librarian friend of mine died a few years ago. Although her celebration of life was carefully planned and meaningful, what I most remember were the many books people donated in her memory. I can still vision the pile of books at the funeral home that people brought to her service to honor her love of books and her legacy as an astute, trusted, loving librarian. The memory of that stack of books puts a smile on my face, creates peace in my heart and brings the joy of having known her to life. Legacy does that, it recreates a living presence of someone.  

Legacy memorials include planting a tree or garden, creating a memorial space in one’s yard,  home or a place the deceased enjoyed. Additional legacy items include creating an online memorial page or sharing a playlist of music. Tributes include monetary donations, giving time to a cause your loved one believed in, or creating an annual event to memorialize something significant to them. Legacy items have become very popular and range from photo or story books chronicling the decedent’s life, values and accomplishments. Memory boxes holding items special to the deceased loved one are not new but have regained popularity. Many people are now getting tattoos that reflect the name, special date or symbol to memorialize their loved one.

Remembering and honoring someone we love is not just about the preciousness a life past, it involves healing as we move into future with our deceased loved ones alive in new ways. When the physical body is gone, the relationship does not end, it changes. At the core of our new relationship is their legacy, it is the gift that remains. 

Think about your legacy. How do you want to be remembered? How will those who love you, celebrate your life? What final messages do you have for those you love? What can you do today to begin creating something that shares your legacy with those you love?

“We must begin thinking like a river if we are to leave a legacy of beauty and life for future generations.” ― David Brower