Turn Back Time

Autumn can be a tough time for grieving people. First, the trees shed their leaves, exposing the starkness of dying. Then there are the many November celebrations that honor the dead, recollect the fragility of life, and call to mind the hereafter. But what I grieve most in autumn is the diminishing daylight, because more than anything it reminds me of the obscurity of grief and death. This week especially, with nighttime’s darkness so palpable at 7 a.m. and the evening happy hour abbreviated by an early sunset, I cannot help but recognize how short life can be. Lucky for me, daylight savings time eases some of the early autumn gloom.

This Sunday (November 7th) at 2:00 a.m. daylight savings time ends; we turn the clocks back an hour in lieu of naturally adjusting to the darker days. Hence we cleverly fool ourselves and Mother Nature into thinking the darkness is defeated. How much easier for us, if such a simple adjustment were available to manage our grief. Autumn’s dramatic changes remind me of so many of the painful turnings we face as we grieve. No matter the circumstances of a death, it is normal to crave a return to the time when someone we love was alive. How magical it would be if we could actually turn back time.

Autumn also brings physical challenges with it. At this time of year many people experience SAD (seasonal affect disorder). No matter how long or short a day is, grief’s darkness can effortlessly bring deep-rooted pain to the surface. But expensive lamps brightening our surroundings cannot quell the darkness that can pervade our every cell.

As we return to standard time, let us not try so much to turn back time, but to return peacefully to the natural progression of light and darkness. Let us befriend the dark, not fearing the unknown, let us embrace the mystery.

 Don’t forget — fall backwards—turn those clocks back one hour before you go to bed Saturday night.